{"id":2509,"date":"2011-01-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-01-16T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jboitnott.com\/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road\/"},"modified":"2020-04-21T19:01:33","modified_gmt":"2020-04-21T19:01:33","slug":"why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jboitnott.com\/zh\/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road\/","title":{"rendered":"Why did the chicken cross the road?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I think someone probably sent this one to me in an email back in <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/2011\">2011<\/a>. It&#8217;s a review of how various figures in popular culture and history might answer the question, &#8220;why did the chicken cross the road?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>To me it reads a bit like a time capsule at this point. In 2011, Barack Obama and John McCain were in the midst of their respective election campaigns. People still <a href=\"https:\/\/jboitnott.com\/zh\/meaningful-discussions-at-work-why-they-matter-and-how-to-make-them-happen\/\">remembered or cared about<\/a> political figures like Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and John Kerry.<\/p>\n<p>Take a look at how each of these figures would answer &#8220;why did the chicken cross the road,&#8221; and have a laugh while you&#8217;re at it.<\/p>\n<h2>Political Figures<\/h2>\n<p><strong>BARACK OBAMA:\u00a0<\/strong> The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!<\/p>\n<p><strong>JOHN McCAIN:<\/strong>\u00a0 My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.<\/p>\n<p><strong>HILLARY CLINTON:<\/strong>\u00a0 When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn\u2019t about me.<\/p>\n<p><strong>SARAH PALIN:<\/strong>\u00a0 The chicken crossed the road because gosh- darn it, he\u2019s a maverick!<\/p>\n<p><strong>GEORGE W. BUSH:\u00a0<\/strong> We don\u2019t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.<\/p>\n<p><strong>DICK CHENEY:\u00a0<\/strong> Where\u2019s my gun?<\/p>\n<p><strong>COLIN POWELL:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.<\/p>\n<p><strong>BILL CLINTON:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?<\/p>\n<p><strong>AL GORE:<\/strong>\u00a0 I invented the chicken.<\/p>\n<p><strong>JOHN KERRY:\u00a0<\/strong> Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken\u2019s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.<\/p>\n<h2>TV Talkers and Pundits<\/h2>\n<p><strong>AL SHARPTON:<\/strong>\u00a0 Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.<\/p>\n<p><strong>DR. PHIL:<\/strong>\u00a0 The problem we have here is that this chicken won\u2019t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he\u2019s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.<\/p>\n<p><strong>OPRAH:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I\u2019m going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.<\/p>\n<p><strong>ANDERSON COOPER, CNN:\u00a0<\/strong> We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.<\/p>\n<p><strong>NANCY GRACE:<\/strong>\u00a0 That chicken crossed the road because he\u2019s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.<\/p>\n<p><strong>PAT BUCHANAN:<\/strong>\u00a0 To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.<\/p>\n<p><strong>MARTHA STEWART:<\/strong>\u00a0 No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer\u2019s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.<\/p>\n<p><strong>BARBARA WALTERS:<\/strong>\u00a0 Isn\u2019t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it\u2019s lifelong dream of crossing the road.<\/p>\n<h2>Historic Figures<\/h2>\n<p><strong>DR SEUSS:\u00a0<\/strong> Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I\u2019ve not been told.<\/p>\n<p><strong>JERRY FALWELL:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because the chicken was gay! Can\u2019t you people see the plain truth? That\u2019s why they call it the \u2018other side.\u2019 Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like \u2018the other side.\u2019 That chicken should not be crossing the road. It\u2019s as plain and as simple as that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>ERNEST HEMINGWAY:<\/strong>\u00a0 To die in the rain, alone.<\/p>\n<p><strong>GRANDPA:<\/strong>\u00a0 In my day we didn\u2019t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.<\/p>\n<p><strong>ARISTOTLE:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.<\/p>\n<p><strong>JOHN LENNON:<\/strong>\u00a0 Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.<\/p>\n<p><strong>BILL GATES:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have just released eChicken2011, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2010. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.<\/p>\n<p><strong>ALBERT EINSTEIN:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?<\/p>\n<p><strong>COLONEL SANDERS:\u00a0<\/strong> Did I miss one???<\/p>\n<p>Image by <a href=\"https:\/\/pixabay.com\/users\/ulleo-1834854\/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=3186191\">Ulrike Leone<\/a> from <a href=\"https:\/\/pixabay.com\/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=3186191\">Pixabay<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I think someone probably sent this one to me in an email back in 2011. It&#8217;s a review of how various figures in popular culture and history might answer the question, &#8220;why did the chicken cross the road?&#8221; To me it reads a bit like a time capsule at this point. In 2011, Barack Obama [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8578,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[135,8,13],"tags":[44,127,6],"class_list":["post-2509","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-celebrity","category-fun-stuff","category-politics","tag-celebrity","tag-funny","tag-politics"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Why did the chicken cross the road? - John Boitnott<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Everyone&#039;s heard the joke &quot;why did the chicken cross the road?&quot; Here&#039;s how some important figures from popular culture and history would anser the question.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/jboitnott.com\/zh\/why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"zh_CN\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why did the chicken cross the road? 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